


Plants Bring You Zen

by TheFanWhoAlwaysWaited



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And Brad's, Established Relationship, M/M, Plantdashian-Planter Sisters, Plants, Rated T for Ray's potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanWhoAlwaysWaited/pseuds/TheFanWhoAlwaysWaited
Summary: 5 Times Ray brought plants home and named them after Kardashians, and the one time Brad brought one home as well.
Relationships: Brad Colbert/Ray Person
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Plants Bring You Zen

**Author's Note:**

> This is for you evancestunefemme <3

1 

Ray had been out with Walt as he picked up supplies at the local Home Depot. 

“Seriously Homes! You are all sexy carpenter or some shit. You should build like sex swings or something and sell them on the side.” Ray rambled as they roamed the aisles.

“Shut up Ray. I’m just building a bookshelf and painting the living room.” Walt replied with a grin. 

“Are you using color therapy or something? Rudy sent me an article about what colors balance your chakra.” Ray asked.

“Jesus Ray, do you really read those articles he sends everyone?” Walt asked, stopping the rolling rack in front of the lumber.

“Hell yeah, I do! Rudy takes time to send them to us Homes. It would be rude to ignore them.” Ray explained. He was currently leaning dramatically against the handles of the rolling rack with his sunglasses on.

“Jesus Christ Ray, help me load these up,” Walt said with a smile.

The two loaded up the lumber Walt needed quickly before heading off towards the paint aisle. On the way, Ray noticed a display of plants. 

“Hey wait! Rudy sent another article about plants being good for you zen or some shit. Let me take a look!” Ray stated dramatically as he looked over the plants. He took off his sunglasses and hung them on the front of his shirt. 

Ray grinned almost maniacally as he grabbed the plant with the most obnoxious leaves. 

“This is it! This is the one!” Ray said as he pulled the plant out to put on the cart. 

“Seriously? This one?” Walt asked with a laugh.

“Hell yeah, Homes! This is Kim Plantdashian! Her leaves are as big as Kim K’s ass!” Ray stated proudly. Walt’s laugh could be heard all through Home Depot.

2

Ray hadn’t meant to start a plant collection, he really hadn’t, but Rudy’s article did say having a variety of house plants to bring you zen.

Ray had gone with Rudy and Pappy to the farmers market when he found it. It was a spikey, tall tree-like plant. She was gorgeous in Ray’s opinion.

“You made a good choice, brother!” Rudy said happily when Ray bought the plant. Pappy just shook his head with a smile.

Walking through the door, Ray gave Brad a dimpled grin as he walked his new plant over to the bay window he had placed Kim in.

“Hey, Brad! Meet Kendall Planter!” Ray said as he gestured to his new baby.

“What the fuck Ray. You were supposed to be getting fruits and vegetables to prevent you from getting scurvy, not another plant.” Brad said with a frown. He was currently sitting on the couch with the news on as he typed away on his laptop.

“Homes, we need to bring zen to our home! Plus, it was slim pickings because they changed their hours so we were late.” Ray explained as he flopped down onto the couch next to Brad. 

Brad arched an eyebrow at Ray as the brunette shoved his feet under Brad’s thigh. 

3

“Come oooonnn Brad! Pleeeeaaaase?” Ray whined. They were on their once a month Costco run when Ray spotted the plant display at the front of the store.

“Why do you need more plants, Ray?” Brad asked as he pushed the cart. 

“We need all the sisters,” Ray said as he looked over the display. Honestly, most looked like they were on their last legs.

“Sisters? What the fuck are you talking about?” Brad asked. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Ray look through the half-dead plants. Ray let out a triumphant sound as he shoved his hands into the middle of the plants. 

“Ah-ha! Meet Khloe Plantdashian!” Ray said as he pulled out a droopy plant. 

“She’s weepy like Khloe is,” Ray explained happily.

“Put it in the cart, but we are sticking to the list the rest of the time,” Brad said seriously.

Ray blew a kiss at Brad before he headed off, singing an upbeat pop song.

4

Ray was finishing his morning run when he saw it. He had nearly run his entire 6-mile loop. He had turned down his street and saw the various items on the lawn.

Someone had a beautiful red/green leafy plant on their front lawn with a sign saying ‘Free’ on it. 

Ray came to a stop to check it out. It looked healthy enough. 

With a shrug, Ray picked up the plant.

“Let’s make sure you are really free,” Ray said to the plant as he walked to the front door. Knocking quickly, Ray stepped back as he waited for the door to open. An elderly man opened the door with a frown.

“Excuse me, I just wanted to make sure you were really giving this plant away,” Ray said as he gestured to the plant in his arms.

“Oh yes! We have far too many and I’ve been slowly moving some out to the yard to find good homes. My wife hasn’t noticed yet.” He explained.

“Oh okay! Well, she’ll have a good home with me!” Ray replied with a bright smile. The man returned Ray’s smile before shutting the door.

Ray pulled out his phone and quickly taking a selfie with the plant. He set the plant down for a moment. He typed out a quick message to Brad saying, ‘Meet Kourtney Plantdashian.’

He picked Kourtney back up and whistled happily as he walked the remaining 3 blocks back to his and Brad’s house.

He felt his phone buzz, knowing Brad definitely sent a picture back of him flipping Ray the finger.

5

This one had honestly been an accident. Ray had been at work when his coworker Pam came in nearly in tears.

“What’s wrong?” Ray asked worriedly.

“My orchid is dying and I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend said to throw it out but I couldn’t do that to her!” Pam explained, sniffling loudly. Ray had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“Bring her in tomorrow, she can join my menagerie,” Ray suggested. Pam threw her arms around Ray and gave him a tight hug, promising to bring the plant in the next day.

-

“Here she is! She is so needy, but I don’t know what she needs.” Pam explained. 

Ray took a look at the magenta colorer orchid and flinched at how helpless it looked. The flower was drooping and the stalk looked weak. He was determined to keep her alive.

“Don’t worry Pam, Kylie Planter will thrive with her Plantdashian-Planter sisters,” Ray explained.

+1

Ray was lounging on the couch reading when he heard Brad’s keys jingling in the door. Ray looked up and saw the moment Brad stepped in with a wild, leafy vine plant. Ray felt his jaw drop in shock.

“Brad, are you injured or something?” Ray asked as he watched Brad march over to their Plantdashian-Planter family. 

“Well Ray, you were missing the ring leader of that trash show you call reality TV,” Brad stated matter of factly as he set the vine in the center. 

“Meet Kris Planter, the mother that needs to be in everyone’s shit,” Brad explained as he gestured to the newest plant.

Ray gave Brad a blinding grin as he launched himself off the couch. 

“You did understand the names!” Ray said with a laugh as he hugged Brad. Brad returned the hug with a soft smile of his own. 

“Yeah, Ray, I do listen to the garbage that spews from your whiskey tango mouth,” Brad said against the brunette’s hair. Ray laughed happily into Brad’s chest, arms tightening around Brad’s waist.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out more of my HBO War garbage on Tumblr: Hoosiers-blanket. Feel free to message me any fic ideas or headcanons!


End file.
